Going through a divorce or know someone who is? Keep reading to see why it’s okay to not be okay and how you can help a friend going through a divorce.
As part of this divorce series, I really want to touch on the mental health portion of all of this. Divorce is HARD. There are countless studies done on the emotional and mental toll divorce takes on a human being, and the results (while varied) come out to roughly the same thing: this shit will bring you to your knees. Even if it’s the most amicable divorce. It is exhausting, and time-consuming, finance-draining, and one hell of an emotional rollercoaster.
If you’re going through a divorce, or a rough time in your life, I’m here to tell you: Its Ok to Not Be Ok. I know I felt the pressure of holding everything together, especially for the kids. But sometimes, darling, you just need to have a breakdown. Call a friend or family member (lean on your tribe!), ask them to watch the kids/dogs/cats, and go have yourself a good cry. Or sleep for 12 hours. Break some stuff. Whatever you need to do to get the hurt out. It’s ok to feel all those feelings. To take a break from everything and just process. In fact, it will probably help. There was a day, not too long ago, that I had my breakdown. I called my mom and Chelsea and asked them to watch the kids and proceeded to sleep for 14 hours. After crying my eyes out for at least two hours. I was feeling every single emotion and it just became too much. So I took some time for myself and worked through it.
Now here’s the important part: don’t wallow in it. I was lucky enough to have ALL of you beautiful women sending me advice through this whole process, and that was one of the top recommendations: don’t wallow in the hurt. Go talk to a therapist, pick up a new hobby, exercise (sorry, had to), go out with friends, etc… Just do not sit there and let all that hurt and anxiety take over your life. Don’t let it make you bitter. Because as so many of you told me, there is happiness and beauty and new experiences on the other side of it. There is a whole new life you get to build. I’m still in the beginning stages of the “new life” portion of it but there is hope, I promise. I promise.