Oh where to start with this blog post? The Third Trimester Sucks post went so well, I knew there were plenty of women who needed to read and vent about this post as well. So here it is: all the reasons postpartum sucks. Leave in the comments your own reasons! I’ll add any spectacular recommendations.
I had to start this list off with a really real photo of me postpartum. This is what I look like waking up. Seriously. Pretty much the perfect synopsis for why Postpartum blows.
- Your hooha HURTS. You just pushed a baby out of it. Or not. Even if you had a C section, your lady bits are going to be sore and swollen and just plain nasty for at least two weeks.
- Because you’re also going to have what seems like the worst period of your life. So stock up on ALL the mesh underwear and HUGE maxi pads you can. Hospital grade only- the store bought ones can’t handle this. And don’t snub those granny panties- you’ll be so grateful for them when the time comes.
- Hemorrhoids. Oh yeah, I brought up that nasty subject. Even if you didn’t get any during your pregnancy, chances are you’ll get them PP. And they’ll hurt and probably make you cry. Witch hazel pads will help so make sure to grab some!
- Your first poop hurts just as bad as giving birth did. I’m not gonna sugar coat it. Take a motrin or 3 and cry it out lady. There’s no shame.
- You are beyond exhausted. Like, so tired you’re pretty sure your body is just gonna shut down. Your body has been through a ton. You have a newborn thats not sleeping, and even if they are, YOU’RE not sleeping because you wake up every hour to make sure they’re still breathing.
- Postpartum face. It’s like period face but a million times worse. Your skin is grey, you have HUGE bags under your eyes, and probably one or two pimples.
- Or a million pimples. Because, hey why not have a nasty breakout on top of all of the above?
- Nasty hair. Between breakage and hair loss, your head looks like you let a 2 year old cut your hair. It’ll grow back and become healthy again. Eventually. Best to rock that mom bun for the next several months. Or years. Whatever works.
- The crying. OMG the crying. You thought pregnancy hormones were a bitch? NAH postpartum hormones are way worse. You’ll cry, and yell, and cry some more. And want to karate chop your significant other in the carotid. And then hug them. Just ride that crazy train- I promise it gets better.
- Your poor boobs. Between engorgement, sore and cracked nipples, and breastfeeding you’ll want to just chop those poor ladies off and end their misery.
- You may still look pregnant after giving birth. With both my babies I expected to lose a good 20 lbs right after and be back in my pre-pregnancy jeans in a month. Unless you’re Gisele, it’s not gonna happen. Embrace that spare tire around your middle and the extra cellulite and give yourself a break. You can worry about getting back in shape when you’ve had more than three hours of uninterrupted sleep.
What other reasons am I missing? Why did postpartum suck for you?
I will still come over anytime you need me to help and you can look exactly like you do above because you are stunning. XO!
I’m still trying to grow my hair back! I have to wear a hat or thick headband to hide my huge bald spots at my hair line… Or receding hair line ?. I could hardly sit or lay because I had an episiotomy and lots of stitches.
Haha love this post and for keeping it real! I would have to add the unexpected swelling I encountered from all the IV fluids when I came home. It was terrible! I had it for over a week and couldn’t bend my legs, wear shoes, etc. I cried….a lot.
Oh no, this sounds absolutely awful.
I definitely want to have kids in the future but I think I could do without this haha.
xoxo, Jenny
I had TERRIBLE heartburn and insomnia post partum! Even when my daughter DID sleep (which luckily, she did), I could not sleep. Like ever. And when I did, the heartburn would wake me up!! All gone now though 🙂
Nailed it! Love this post and considering I just hit the post partum two week mark it’s all still fresh in my mind. 😉
PP actually made my hair grow in thicker and longer pregnancy didn’t
We had a emergency c section and no one prepared us for it … If c section takes even longer to lose that baby weight so give yourself a break !!!!
I was so fortunate and feel so much empathy for ladies going through this. I cannot imagine it.
Wow.. this is perfect! Hahaha. The pain of breastfeeding was the worst! And my hair was just awful!
This is great. I don’t even have kids and I want to read more! 🙂
Hailey @ http://www.helloatlas.com
So my very best friend in the world is at the hospital having a baby today. This just makes me want to hug her so badly!
I remember right after I had my first son, I looked down at my belly in disbelief. I asked my husband if they left anything in there that they should have taken out (I had a c-section because he was stubbornly breach). My belly was still huge. Oh, and hair breakage, pooping…I giggled at about all of the ones you mentioned – what memories 😉
Oh my goodness, yes! The first four are spot on!
Yay- sounds like I have SO much to look forward to! GIve yourself a big pat on the back mama, because you my friend are a ROCKSTAR! <3
HAHA I don’t have kinds yet but I’m not sure I want them now….just kidding!
I am absolutely bookmarking this page!! Due in 7 weeks and people are always afraid to tell you the bad stuff, but I’d so much rather be prepared for it! Thanks for sharing….WITH your great humor injected! 🙂
All of these are so true!! Every women about to give birth should read this so they have realistic expectations after giving birth.
Such a great post. I’ll add to it for the moms with more than 1 or 2….Postpartum sucks when you have other littles needing you and everyone thinks you can handle it. I love your sense of humor though!
I can’t believe no one has said night sweats! Nothing like waking up every couple hours to nurse and being soaking wet and shivering. Lovely.
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It’s a year later, I still look pregnant, cry, have acne, and major hair loss (but still a full head of hair). Postpartum sucks!
You should come link up at our Bloggers Spotlight party, we pin everything to our group board and have two separate link-ups, one for posts and one devoted to pins so you get even more exposure!
http://www.raisingfairiesandknights.com/category/bloggers-spotlight/
This.is.everything. So honest, so true. I have experienced all of these…and night sweats. My Joaquim is one year old now and my hair still sucks. Big time. Thanks for the comment on insta today! So glad you did so I could discover your blog! Here is mine if you ever want to check it out: zahners.wordpress.com
It’s like reading a page of my own diary, laughed my ass off. I truly felt the same regarding the third trimester blog you posted and now I recognize myself again in this post. It’s nice to see someone be true like this.