Terrifying Tales from Motherhood March 22, 2016
These aren’t so much terrifying as hilarious stories from motherhood. Whether it’s sleep deprivation, distraction, or just overall “mommy brain” there are many scenarios in which you can’t help but laugh. Or at least find it funny somewhere down the road. Ever since having Henley, Ive had several pretty funny situations. If you follow on Instagram, you’ve read the poop story. If not, you should probably go read it because it’s too good/slightly disturbing. I’ll be doing this post once a month, sharing mine and other’s terrifying tales. If you have a funny story, share it in the comments below or email me.
- I was at the grocery store with Henley when I ran into one of my neighbors. Sidenote: I wear a postpartum girdle to help my abs heal back together. Anyways, I’m talking to my neighbor, just shooting the breeze, and he keeps looking at me funny and eventually walks away. I shrugged it off and continued shopping. The gentleman at the checkout counter also gave me a funny look, but I brushed that off as well. Once I got back to my car I realized why. My shirt had been tucked into my girdle THE ENTIRE TIME. Yes, my flesh colored girdle had been on full view the entire grocery trip.
- Andddd another poop story. Because potty training is oh so fun. I was explaining to Hudson that he needed to go poop on the potty. I could tell he really had to go but he was being shy about it for some reason. So I told him “You can go poop on the potty right now buddy, it’s ok.” Apparently, all he heard was right now because he just squatted right there and pooped. And the dog STARTED EATING IT. Needless to say I didn’t eat again that day.
- When Hudson was about 6 months old, I went to get my hair cut. The hairdresser was chatting away while playing with my hair. when she suddenly stopped and burst out laughing. I asked what was so funny and she asked if I had any kids. I said yes. She said “I can tell, I just found several cereal puffs in your hair.” And she proceeded to pull 3-4 puffs out of my hair. The embarrassment.
I also had to share this one from Jet Set Mama because it literally made me ugly cry I was laughing so hard.
What horrifying story do you have to share?
Thank you for the giggle though I am sorry you went through that! 🙂
Bahahaha! Love these! Who said being a mom wasn’t glamourous! 🙂
These are fantastic! I don’t have kids yet, but will definitely check back in for more laughs!
My girdle was totally on display the other day too!! Oh goodness, what are we going to do with ourselves!
Lol these are great stories. Thanks for sharing I needed to laugh today 🙂
Too funny! Things to look forward to someday! ?
When Smoochie Girl was a toddler we were at the store looking for a brush that was gentle on her hair. She was squatting down looking at the small bins of nail polish on the bottom shelf (something she still loves doing) I looked down to ask her about a pretty purple brush, and heard the tell-tale grunt of a poopie diaper. The difference this time was, when I looked down Isawbrown sludge pouring out the back of her diaper like lava from a volcano and onto the white linoleum of the store. I didn’t quite know what to do. I was in shock. I certainly wasn’t going to put my hand under it to try and catch it. So, I just stood there while up from her butt came a bubblin’ crude and then had to go and tell a clerk there was a “wet mop clean-up” in health and beauty. And, of course I’ve never been back there since.
Oh my goodness these are great!! I will have to think of some to send to you-with 4 I’m sure I have some funny/embarrassing stories hiding somewhere in my mom brain!
Oh my gosh!! I can’t even! I’m 16 weeks pregnant with my second and also have a 18 month. I’m having a pretty rough time this pregnancy. It’s definitely not the same as the first! I’ve warped from being someone who is not emotional and very go with the flow, to someone who is emotional, moody and I’ve turned into a hermit….It’s HORRIBLE! Needless to say, this snippet of a blog post made me laugh, so thank you for that! I truly needed it!
Great story. I wore one of those too. I now don’t hesitate to tell people when I see things like spinach in their teeth or shirt tucked in weird. I have learned that I am so thankful when others tell me that I need to reciprocate. 🙂
LMAO!!!! I love your stories 🙂 I have to say, while I’m not yet a mom, I love to read them–gives me an idea of what I’m in for one day. Thanks so much for sharing (LOVED the girdle story–this is something I myself would do, too!).
Ha! Love the food in your hair 😉
My twins are now 5 yrs old and oh the stories I could tell… the stories!!!!! So many!
When munchkin was still in diapers, sometimes I would pat her butt, to see if the bulge was just a poofy diaper or if there was poop in there. If there wasn’t poop, I would say, “No, doo-doo”. We went to Kroger and while in the frozen section, (I’m holding her other hand) digging for something in the freezer and an old man walks by she smacks him on the butt, and yells, “No, Doo-doo!” The old man, thankfully was a trooper about it and said, “Not today Hun!” I was mortified…
Oh goodness, I’m so glad I’m not the only one with stories like this! <3