So we’ve talked about how hard the divorce process is. Now let’s talk about the aftermath. Specifically the holidays. I had Thanksgiving without the kids and realized how very different this season of life is. It can be lonely and sad. I refuse to let it ruin my favorite time of year, so I reached out to all of you as well as some friends of mine to see how they handle divorce and the holidays.
Edited to add a year later: it’s still hard. Depending on your custody schedule, it can change year to year. This year I don’t have the kids Christmas Eve into Christmas morning and wow I’m mourning waking up with them. That is my absolute favorite thing! I normally stay up most of the night I am so excited to see their faces and joy as soon as they wake.
That being said, I keep learning what helps to get through those tough times. Divorce and after is a huge opportunity for growth and self-acceptance. You have to date yourself, learn to enjoy spending time alone. Yes, making plans with friends etc is always helpful, but we’re in the middle of a pandemic so I think we’re all learning to sit in our own company. I’ve added some of my favorite solo activities below as well.
How To Deal with Being Divorced During the Holidays!
- Make plans with friends or family when you don’t have the kids. This is extremely important! I know wallowing at home has it’s appeal but go out anyways. I promise you wont regret it.
- Date night- make yourself your favorite meal (or order it). Light candles, play your favorite music, turn on a movie you’ve wanted to see or an old favorite.
- Personally, I think animals are so important. If you don’t have one, offer to dog or cat sit and get those snuggles in.
- Journal your feelings.
- Read some books! Fiction or non-fiction. I have a lot of recommendations here.
- If you don’t have anyone else to spend the holidays with, find an activity to do: go for a hike, volunteer, go to church etc…
- Start a new tradition just for yourself! Have a movie you watch every year, decorations you make, a charity you donate your time or efforts towards.
- Buy yourself a gift! I’m personally looking forward to this. I think I deserve a damn nice gift this year 😉
- Make sure to plan lots of fun stuff activities for when you do have the kids. Make those memories that you can cherish when you don’t have them.